A lot of the times, we find ourselves trying to fill voids from early childhood trauma in our adult years. Maybe it is from the absence of a parent’s love, being bullied in school, being abused or neglected, or coming from a broken home. As adults, we may find ourselves trying to heal by forming unhealthy soul ties. We find ourselves hopping into one platonic relationship or one romantic relationship after the other. At some point, you might be wondering “why do I keep doing this?” It is important that we ask ourselves “what void am I trying to fill?” What are we trying to avoid?
Yeshua loves the broken hearted. He calls on us to cast all our worries and burdens onto him (Psalm 55:22). Why is it so difficult for us to submit to Yeshua, but so easy for us to chase after relationships that bring about disappointments? Why is it so hard for us to choose healing?
It is a lot harder to go through any process because it takes dedication and faith. In this generation, we want things to happen instantaneously. We want a quick fix for everything from losing weight to being successful. This can be due to social media being a driving force in our day to day lives. We can access almost any piece information just from one google search. God does not work like that. Suffering proceeds liberation (1 Peter 5:10). Sometimes, we need to endure suffering until Jesus delivers us. It makes us realize that we cannot do it alone without His help.
Imagine how much hurt we can avoid if we just wait on God and trust His timing. After all, Yeshua should be the prime example of love. He desires for us to experience that type of love in our friendships and romantic relationships. This type of love comes with peace. If we take time to understand how God loves, it will help us to avoid getting into toxic relationships (John 3:16). It will also teach us how to properly love ourselves. Your relationships should be a reflection of Yeshua’s love (Ephesians 5:25).
It is so important for us to stop treating ourselves as a revolving door for relationships and friendships. It causes confusion and God it is not the author of confusion. Allowing everyone to have access to us in a time that we need to heal will never do us any good. Instead, Yeshua commands us to bring our broken hearts to Him (Psalm 34:18). True healing can only happen if we submit to the process and trust our perfect God (Hebrews 13:5).
If you keep giving pieces of yourself to the wrong people, places and things, you’ll end up causing more damage. What happens to an open wound that is overly exposed? Eventually, it will become infected and require more healing. You are only making the situation worse by avoiding the healing process.
Today, spend some time in the Word of God and give your brokenness to God. Shift your focus to chasing after God, the same way you chase after a man or a woman. It is your responsibility to choose healing or to stay broken. Please choose to heal. It is the truest form of self-love.